without too many words

It all hit me
it's been building and growing
It spilled over tonight
Sandbags couldn't stop the flood
my life
A series of events
Like chapters in a novel
Each event, a build up to climactic scene
But what is the resolution?
When can I close the last page, and sigh?
I am a dreamer of the cinematic kind
Vivid and bright is my happiness
Simple, and non-material
and tonight it all hit me
So serene and sweet
Like nothing ever felt
And what can I do?
I just cried...

voice of conscience

I feel honest lately. Not that I am a dishonest person but I've lived a lot of my life doing what would make others happy. Closing off parts of who I am so that I don't offend someone, or disappoint my family. Lately I have been able to be openly myself. nothing to hide,and no reason to.

I am through being the person who lives in a shadow of what she could be. I am a strong woman with strong ideas, and thoughts, and opinions. I have the potential to do anything I choose.

I promise to always be honestly me, and never compromise myself again. I promise to speak up! I will voice my opinions and not worry that others might be offended by them. I promise to talk about my feelings, especially when it's hard! I promise not to allow any person to change who I am at the core of my being because at my core I am beautiful, and strong, and intelligent. I will share my energy with the people around me. I promise to make my own decisions; no one else will make them for me! I promise to take care of myself in body, mind, and soul. I promise to treat others with all the respect that I can give.


These are the things I promise
sincerely,
Me

Defintion: Soulmate

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake...A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in..." -Elizabeth Gilbert

a perfect monent

I know why we can't recreate a perfect moment. It is because we aren't expecting them so when they happen we don't realize what they are until they are practically over. We only catch the tail end of our perfect moments. So how can you recreate something that you have never felt the full experience of?
Just a thought.
Good morning beautiful ;)

If Ichoose to love it will never be your decision

Your Hands Surprise Me
By Lady Lee Andrews

"Your hands at times surprise me
The weight, the pressure,
And the Pulse-
Awhile my body falls into their spell
And hides all mental force.

They guide me through a universe
Of a thousand new desires
And take me to a world where I
Can set them all on fire-
Free the Light
...

Your Hands at times surprise me.
The need, the truth, the pauses!
It's amazing how silently
It arouses certain senses
Caught inside me,
Beside me
Walking
Hand in Hand"

And I laid awake to make sure all was well

I woke up to music in my ears. How did I get so lucky? Just what I needed this morning. With this refreshed feeling throughout my body, I will go the whole day smiling.

By the way, I say too much. It's making me feel vulnerable, like a hermit crab without it's shell. But I trust too much to keep my mouth shut...

Is it dramatic that when I am happy enough I cry? I basically have no control over the matter either! Tears just fill my eyelids...

I think I'm finally ready to get myself into an apartment. I need someplace to call mine besides my car...

I'm feeling...that's it. I'm feeling. There is no one emotion that I can attach to it. There aren't even a hundred emotions to describe it. And I feel it most between my shoulder blades.

Feel Free

Who am I writing this blog for? Mostly me, I think. Someplace for my thoughts to be other than in my head i guess...I also write to put my thoughts out there to the universe. Who knows what it will do? I just know that it is an outlet that I enjoy.


I struggle to organize my thoughts often, so today I'm not gonna try...

I wonder if music speaks to other people the way it does to me.

I really LOVE to dance! Really, really. I'm serious!

When will my mom say, "I love you" again on the phone :(

Am I ready to live in my own apartment and take care of my own shit...

I want to buy some new shoes. some sexy black high heels...ha

Does anyone else daydream as vividly as I do? I hope so because daydreaming is just great

I say too much sometimes...well, at least lately I have been. It's refreshing and scary 'cause it leaves me open, wide open, vulnerably open...

My job makes me happy, no matter how poor it keeps me!

I've had nights lately that I can't get outta my head...I think about them all day :D

There's this quote. and it feels so true to me:
"Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them." ~Brendan Francis

I need to get better at folding clothes and putting them away. My room looks like the aftermath of a great battle of clothes.

I love to paint my nails. It is like art to me.

Feel free to say what you want about me. Go on, I'm not afraid

Pursuit of Happiness

This song is playing over and over again in my head :D
If you haven't heard it. Look it UP!
I put my favorite lyrics (and the ones that keep repeating in my head) in bold


Pursuit of Happiness
Kid Cudi


Verse 1:

Crush A Bit; Little Bit; Roll It Up; Take A Hit
Feelin’ Lit Feelin’ Like 2 Am Summer Night

I Don’t Care; Hand On The Wheel; Drivin Drunk; I’m Doin’ My Thing
Rollin The Midwest Side And Out Livin’ My Life Getting’ Out Dreams
People Told Me Slow My Road I’m Screaming Out Fuck Thaat
Imma Do Just What I Want Lookin’ Ahead No Turnin’ Back
If I Fall If I Die Know I Lived It To The Fullest
If I Fall If I Die Know I Lived And Missed Some Bullets

[Chorus]

I’m On The Pursuit Of Happiness And I Know Everything That Shines Ain’t Always Gonna Be Gold
I’ll Be Fine Once I Get It; I’ll Be Good

Verse 2:

Tell Me What You Know About Dreamin’ Dreamin’
You Don’t Really Know About Nothin’ Nothin’
Tell Me What You Know About Them Night Terrors Every Night
5 Am Cold Sweats Wakin’ Up To The Skies
Tell Me What You Know About Dreams; Dreams
Tell Me What You Know About Night Terrors; Nothin’
You Don’t Really Care About The Trials Of Tomorrow
Rather Lay Awake In A Path Full Of Sorrow

[Chorus]

I’m On The Pursuit Of Happiness and I Know Everything That Shines Ain’t Always Gonna Be Gold
I’ll Be Fine Once I Get It; I’ll Be Good

[Chorus]

I’m On The Pursuit Of Happiness. I Know Everything That Shines Ain’t Always Gold
I’ll Be Fine Once I Get It; I’ll Be Good

[Chorus]

I’m On The Pursuit Of Happiness And I Know Everything That Shines Ain’t Always Gonna Be Gold; Hey
I’ll Be Fine Once I Get It; Yeah; I’ll Be Good

I’m On The Pursuit Of Happiness
And I Know Everything That Shines Ain’t Always Gonna Be Gold; Hey
I’ll Be Fine Once I Get It; Yeah
I’ll Be Good

Pursuit Of Happiness; Yeah
I Don’t Get It; I’ll Be Good

I am not JUST anything

I am so much more than just. Not by my hair, eyes, or skin am I defined. Nor by the sports I've played or music I dance to. Neither do religion, political affiliation, or organization i join will be my one defining attribute. each only adds to the individual that I am.
I love being busy but hate routine. I enjoy the attention I want but dislike the attention I don't ask for. I will say anything I feel like and nothing that I don't. I am not comfortable talking about my emotions. Sex is my weakness; not intercourse itself but that lusty sexual tension right before contact. I rarely finish what I start, but I work hard at what I'm doing. I have passion for people, and fashion, and music. I don't believe that any person is more important than another. Sometimes I wish I were a gypsy, or a vagabond, or a model. I teeter on the edge constantly.

Something between a metaphor and an innuendo

The discussion of music came up while talking with a good friend of mine. We were discussing the word choices used by rappers like Lil' Wayne and Eminem. That these word artists can put lyrics together in such a way that the meanings are suggestive of so many things yet may not make sense at all is marvelous to me.
I guess that is the beauty of creative language and art. To hear, or read words that are so simplistic at first and then to apprehend a different meaning from them can feel so good. The words can give explanation for a feeling that was previously indescribable or paint a picture of a past experience more vividly than could ever be conveyed otherwise. My favorite though is when words (lyrics to music specifically) enhance a moment in time. That at THAT specific moment THOSE words echo in my mind and ring through my body.
Anyway, as we were talking we were trying to think of what part of language they use when they are writing their lyrics. We know that they use metaphors, and that they are also used as innuendos. The problem was that we were so sure that there was another way to describe it all. So I looked up some words and their definitions that I thought were explanatory of the way in which they write.

Metaphor:
-a figure of speech in which a term or phrase is applied to something to which it is not literally applicable in order to suggest a resemblance

Innuendo:
-an indirect, or subtle, intimation (verb which means to indicate or make known indirectly; hint; imply; suggest not to be confused with the adjective intimate meaning of an association, knowledge, understanding, etc. arising from close personal connection or familiar experience.) about a person or thing, esp. of a disparaging or a derogatory nature.

Insinuate:
-to instill or infuse subtly or artfully, as into the mind

Allegory:
-indirect representation
-symbolic narrative, figurative treatment of one subject under the guise of another
- to speak so as to imply something other

Figuration:
-the act of representing figuratively

Paralleling:
-having the same direction, course, nature, or tendency; corresponding; similar; analogous

Metonymy:
-A figure of speech in which one word or phrase is substituted for another with which it is closely associated , or of which it is a part, as “the bottle” for “strong drink,” or “count heads(or noses)” for “count people.”
very similar to synecdoche which is a figure of speech in which a part is use for the whole(as hand for sailor),the whole for a part(as the law for police officer), the specific for the general(as cutthroat for assassin),the general for the specific (as thief for pickpocket),or the material for the thing made from it(as steel for sword).

The definition for this word is the broad canopy for many of the other words I looked up.
Trope:
-any literary or rhetorical device, as metaphor, metonymy, synecdoche, and irony, that consists in the use of words in other than their literal sense.