my biological dad...

it's a touchy subject
I'm 23, and My parents got married when I was 2.
If it was not for the fact that I physically look different than my siblings it would be hard to know that I have a different dad than them.
I have been too scared to ask for too long. My mom makes it seem like a subject she doesn't want to talk about.
she's never told me anything about my biological dad.
My adopted dad didn't actually adopt me till I was 18. He said he never really thought about it because he was already my dad.
And even still my mom keeps quiet about the whole subject.
time is approaching for me to ask her. I am terrified. But I want to know! Maybe I want to meet him.
I hate not knowing things. my mom knows that.
my life is complicated, but whose isn't?

No place like home

I feel like Dorothy after she met the Wizard of Oz...and realized it was always right there in front of her. And "it" is laying right next to me, in our bed, in our apartment.

He is home to me. I am so comfortable with him. I want to take care of him, and do nice things for him, and make a family with him. I love, and adore him. He takes care of me. He pushes me to be a better me, not a different me. He loves me.

I dream about our colorful life together. I often think of a lazy Sunday afternoons. Chance and I sitting in the grass basking in the sun and laughter of Marley, Keyon, Sophia, Bastian, Zola, & Tutter (and any other children we have in our future). They are all playing in the backyard with the dogs. Chasing them up and down the yard, they giggle and call over to me and Chance to make sure we are watching what they are doing.
I know, cheesy, right? and I don't care!

Feeling the way I do about him is scary to me. What would I do without him? Who would I tell my good news to? Who would let me cry when I may not even have a reason? Who would hold me when it's cold, or bask in the sun with me when it is warm? He is everything to me! He is my boo, my beau, my love, my partner and I love him SO SO much!

There's no place like home....there's NO place like Him...

Katy Perry said it perfectly

"Teenage Dream"

You think I'm pretty

Without any makeup on

You think I'm funny

When I tell the punchline wrong

I know you get me
So I let my walls come down, down
Before you met me
I was alright but things
Were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February You'll be my Valentine, Valentine

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance, until we die
You and I, will be young forever

[Chorus]
You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a
Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

We drove to Cali
And got drunk on the beach
Got a motel and
Built a fort out of sheets
I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance, until we die
You and I, will be young forever

[Chorus]
You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

I'mma get your heart racing
In my skin tights jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
Let you put your hands on me
In my skin tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight

[Chorus]
Yoooouuu You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back
No My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touchNow baby
I believeThis is real
So take a chance and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

I'mma get your heart racing
In my skin tights jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
Let you put your hands on me
In my skin tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
(Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
he's perfectly him. I am finally me and it all just fits.